5 Reasons Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex (and how to fix it)

“My wife loves me, but she doesn’t desire me.”

So the fire’s finally fizzled out. You don’t know how you got here, but you spend your nights begging your wife for some sweet lovin’ that never comes to fruition. In desperation, you turn to the Internet in hopes for answers. Why doesn’t your wife want to have sex?

There are plenty of reasons a woman’s libido might diminish, particularly with the stress of family life. Some of these reasons are out of your control, but a lot of them aren’t. You might be turning off your wife without even realizing it.

Read on for 5 Reasons Your Wife Doesn’t Want Sex (and how to fix it).

  1. She feels stressed out.

Maybe she has a busy family life. Maybe she deals with a lot at work. Maybe it’s both. Either way, at the end of the day, the last thing she wants to do is spend more  (nonexistent) energy on sex.

Suggestion: help her out where you can. Talk to her; find out what’s causing the stress. Arrange for her to have some time to herself, be it going out or just relaxing at home. She’ll feel recharged and appreciated.

  1. She feels misunderstood.

People aren’t the best at communication, and this reason falls in line with #1. Were you intimidated by the suggestion of talking to your wife about the issue? Why? You’re looking for something else to be heated, not your discussion. Ask your wife about what she’s really feeling and get to the heart of the matter.

Suggestion: you might be tempted to throw in your two cents to this discussion. Don’t. No matter how you feel, letting your wife speak freely without fear of argument is important. She’ll feel valued and loved.

  1. She feels neglected.

When was the last time you went on a date with your wife? Marriage doesn’t mean you’re no longer dating; it just means you’ve “leveled up.” If you’re acting more like roommates than lovers, it’s no wonder your wife won’t have sex.

Suggestion: take her out on a nice date, just the two of you. What did you two do together before you wed? Bring the spark back into your marriage and it’ll find its way back into the bedroom.

  1. She feels unloved.

This reason is a combination of the past three. You and your wife no longer talk, except perhaps in passing. You don’t spend romantic time together. Your wife may be feeling insecure and maybe even like you don’t want her for her. This will morph into constantly rejecting your advances.

Suggestion: do little things for your wife to let her know you love her. Do these acts without expectation of sex or even the hint of expectation. Eventually, she’ll feel cherished and (dare we say it?) amorous.

  1. She feels resentful.

This is the hardest hole to dig out from. How do you react when your wife turns you down for sex? Be honest. Your reaction to her rejection might just be making her resent you more. If she feels like she can’t reject you without defending herself, sex isn’t about the two of you anymore–it’s a chore. Nobody wants that.

Suggestion: if this is you, we strongly suggest couples counseling. You’ll have a bad time curing this problem on your own.

Of course, these aren’t the only reasons your wife won’t have sex–but they sure are some of the most common. Be sure to like this article if it helped you out. Best of luck!

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