Kinks Discovery – How To Find Your Kinks Flavor

You know that there’s more to life than just the vanilla, right? You wouldn’t settle for one flavor of ice cream, and you won’t settle for one flavor of sex. When it comes to fetishes, there’s never been a more welcoming time to start taking a look at the stuff that really turns you on – but that doesn’t mean that everyone knows how to discover their deepest sexual desires. Does that sound like you? Figure out how to explore what you really want when it comes to the bedroom – from delicate lingerie to full-blown dominatrix and everything in between, we’ve got you covered.

1. Start With What You Know

If you’ve really got no idea of the kind of kink that turns you on, a good place to begin is by looking back at your previous stand-out sexual encounters. What was it about those encounters that drove you particularly crazy? Was it the sense of the forbidden? Fancy dress-up or lingerie? Taking control – or being taken control of? Figure out what common features your best sex includes, and start from there. If you’ve done your best and still come up with nothing, take a look at this tried-and-true BDSM test for ideas.

2. A Nuanced Look

Once you’ve got an idea of the kind of common features your best sex – or hottest fantasies – include, explore the various forms that feature can take. If it’s submission, does that submission come in the form of a schoolgirl-teacher dynamic, or a boss-secretary one? If it’s dressing up and roleplaying, is that more the full rubber suit kind or swooning lingerie type? If you’re in charge, are you controlling every aspect of your partners’ life, or tying them up in the bedroom? Try reading some erotica about the dynamic you’re intrigued by, and using that as a safe space to test your boundaries.

3. Carve Out Some Alone Time

While it’s always fun to share our fantasies with a partner, you need to actually know what those fantasies are before we can whisper them into the ear of our lover when the time comes. With kink being so taboo for many people, it makes sense that you want to figure out how you feel about it before you share it with anyone else. Start in the shallow end of what you think might turn you on, and figure out the exact nuances of how this fetish of yours functions through self-exploration and masturbation.

4. Give Yourself Time and Space

Figuring out exactly what you want in the bedroom can be difficult, and you deserve to take all the time you need to figure out your desires. Don’t rush yourself, or think that you have to keep up with anybody else. Move at your own pace and only do what makes you comfortable – this is your sex life, and that means that you always come first.