Ever had that light bulb moment while watching a movie, or reading a book and quickly feel it dim when you remember that you are too shy, or lack the proverbial “balls” to implement it in your sex life? Well, a friend of mine was telling me how she’d always secretly lusted after the idea of being a sub but was far too shy to share this with her partner. I gave her a couple tips for how to initiate things, and today im going to be sharing those tips with you!
Communicating your needs is super important. Turning to your partner at night while you both get your night cap reading done feels less than ideal, when you are a shy person. So, try communicating your wants during sexual discourse/activity. Place more emphasis on the actions with a clearer power dynamic. When they pull your hair, tease you, or offer to tie you up, it may be shocking, but it beats bringing it up while they are about to head to bed.
Lingerie, lingerie, lingerie! For those of us, whom the first tip sounds like mortal hell, sometimes communication happens better when you are not saying anything; I cannot tell you how easy it easy to request more, simply by showing more! The message we send with our lingerie is often unspoken and yet very loud. If your partner walked in with a light cotton teddy, you are likely to think, “damn, that’s sexy. Id like to take that off slowly.” Well, think about what they’ll be thinking when you stroll in decked out in leather corset and a perfectly fitted gag. Also, putting on lingerie can be a real confidence booster, try and start easy; introduce a blindfold, leather undies, or bands, and work your way up to more expressive clothing.
If you aren’t able to say it, I guarantee the lingerie will do the trick, happy communicating!