How To Keep The Romance Alive After Kids

It’s easy to get settled into a routine of the damn dailys and becoming a slave to the usual camp schedule that each day brings. I can’t lie and say that I am any different, as my husband and I are often like two ships passing each other throughout the week. We check in with each other through texts and calls, but often times, we are kissing each other “Hello & Goodbye” in the same sentence.

This has especially more prevalent once kids entered the picture. I often say that you no longer have your own schedule, because yours is dependent on theirs. Sometimes parents divide and conquer (myself and my husband included), and you don’t always spend much time together throughout the week. Weekends can be filled with quality family time, but the conversations are usually focused around the little people you call your kiddos.

By the end of the day, you’re exhausted and only have enough energy to tuck the kids into bed before you call it a night yourself. At times, the only thing I want cuddling me is my blanket and pillows.

As you know, marriage isn’t as glamorous as the Hollywood movies and romantic novels make it out to be. While it is wonderful to spend your life with the person who knows better than yourself, that doesn’t mean that it’s easy all the time. As you build a life together, you bear so much of yourself to that person, and when you add children to the ie, that commitment you made is rooted together even more. As I heard said before, “you either grow together or you grow apart.”

So how can you keep your chemistry alive and thriving in your marriage and after kids? While I may not have all the answers, I can hopefully help shed some light on the different ways on keeping a romance alive after kids, and more importantly, why you should make it a priority to do so.


Know their language of love

This is a topic that my husband and I discuss quite a bit. We both agree that we have different ways that we like to receive and show our love for one another. If you aren’t familiar with the ‘five languages of love’ here is a quick breakdown:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Acts of Service
  • Physical Touch
  • Quality Time
  • Receiving Gifts

While I enjoy physical touch and words of affirmation, my husband likes acts of service with some words of affirmation thrown in there. This is where the two of us have discussed (at times tiffed) over our ways of showing love to each other.

As we have grown in our marriage, and in our understanding of one another, we have learned to do the little things that show love to one another in the ways that our partner wants. Even if it means we that step out of our comfort zone of what we like to do, it shows our partner of the dedication and love we feel towards them to do something this selfless and out of the norm.

If you would like to know what your language of love is, I recommend taking a small online quiz or reading through the different articles online to see which one best fits you and your partner. You may be surprised and learn a thing or two about showing love in ways you never thought of, but ones that will keep your partner happy and your romance alive.


Wear an outfit that’s sexy or new

Maybe you have that one outfit you set aside for the next date night or for when the two are alone (yeah…right). However, don’t let an outfit gain cobwebs in the closet. Take it out one night and surprise your significant other in wearing it. They will definitely notice the gesture and really appreciate that you want to look sexy just for them.

If you don’t have an outfit that you deem ‘sexy’ then go out and treat yourself to one. Sometimes adding a little new flair to your closet will not only help boost your confidence, but also give your partner something to enjoy as well. Dressing isn’t just always for you, but also for the one that loves you as well.


Take care of you – feeling good about yourself will rub off on others

I am a firm believer in taking some time throughout the week to better yourself physically and emotionally. Take a walk, go to the gym or enjoy a spa day for yourself. When you take pride in yourself and feel confident in your skin, the more it will show to those around you.

I enjoy working out (just not when I am doing it) and while I love the way I feel after I complete a workout session, I like that my husband enjoys the results too. I am not perfect, far from it, but getting myself in better shape not only puts me in a better headspace but also makes me feel sexier for my partner.

I love that we have both kept up our appearance for each other and not let the idea of “we’re married now,” take over our thoughts. This has helped not only keep our romance alive, but also made us feel better about ourselves and our marriage.


Date night – Date night – Date night

Do you need me to say it again? I don’t think that I need to, but I will – do a date night. Take the time to go out and enjoy others company. Many people have told me that when your kids are grown and on their own, then all that’s left is you and your better (or worse) half. If you don’t invest in time together now as young parents and married couple, then you won’t know the other person is when it’s just the two of you sitting across from each other at the dinner table.

It doesn’t have to be a lavish night out or a whole weekend (while those are nice too). However, taking a night (no matter how flashy or simple) is imperative in keeping not only the romance, but also the friendship, alive in your relationship. Trust me on this one.



You May Also Like