Once upon a time, before kids and the damn dailies of life took over, I went above and beyond to keep my boyfriend (now husband) on his toes. Call it the honeymoon phase, or being in love, I always did what I could to look my best for my significant other.
As time went on, we got more comfortable with each other, so dressing up and doing the little things didn’t really matter as much. However, there was still an effort to look as best as I could since there was nothing else distracting us from doing so.
Once we said our, “I dos,” and went on our real honeymoon afterwards, reality started to creep in quite quickly. The responsibilities of a house, jobs and general upkeep of life took over and we soon found ourselves submerged in this new adventure called adulthood.
As one could guess, along came one dog, one cat and two kids soon followed suit and the days of keeping each other on our toes were long forgotten. Talks of movies, dinner plans and get togethers were soon replaced with bottle making, bedtime routines and when we would each find time for ourselves. Date nights? That was a foreign term to us.
However, time progressed on and the kids got a little older and easier to manage. At this point, we seemed to get better at managing all the different aspects of our lives. This included taking time for ourselves, and more importantly, each other. Date nights became a thing again, and we took advantage of the moments where we could simply focus on one another without interruption.
I have learned a little bit more and adapted to keeping my husband on his toes in ways that are different than years prior. We weren’t parents or married partners then, so how we have evolved as adults in our years together has helped bring us closer together.
Here are some of the best ways that have worked for me in keeping my husband excited and attracted to me in this modern age of parenthood. I am going to be as blunt as possible, so I hope you appreciate the honesty and openness of my advice.
Take the initiative
This is more than just being the one to initiate sex or sexual acts on one another, it’s about taking the time to seduce your partner. Believe me when I say I know it’s hard to imagine sex after a long day of work, child rearing or one of life’s other demands. Regardless, sex is euphoric and can be the best way to end a day that was draining by letting desire take over. Aside from that benefit, when you see the excitement in your partner’s face upon your seduction of them, it will bring back memories of the past when you lived for these special moments together.
Wear sexy little things that he likes
No, this isn’t about wearing the clothes that only your husband wants you to wear, it’s about putting something on that they really appreciate seeing you dressed in. Maybe it’s that little dress you only wear out once a year, or that sexy top that’s a little low cut? Either way, break it out when it’s least expected. Your partner will love that you took the time to dress up in something they love, all while looking and feeling sexy once again.
Have your own hobbies and interests
While this isn’t the sexiest option on the list of ways to keep your partner excited, it can be a long-term avenue that proves beneficial in the long run for your relationship. I am a firm believer in having your own identity in life, especially once you enter a marriage. Take part in activities that make you happy and give you independence from your spouse. By doing things that you are passionate about not only boosts your confidence and self-esteem, but also gives your partner all the more reason to appreciate you for doing things that YOU enjoy.
Show off your assets
If you got it, flaunt it. At least that’s how the saying goes, so why not do it? Don’t hide the assets that you are most proud of; show them off. I am not saying to wear revealing or presumptuous clothes at inappropriate times, I am saying to bring them out for date night or when you have a night alone with your special someone. By showing off your confidence in your body and all its assets will also make an impact on your partner who will love seeing you embracing the beautiful body that they fell in love with.
Sexy talk during sex
It’s nice to hear just a few simple words to let your partner know how much you enjoy having sex with them. This isn’t about having a full blown (pardon the pun) conversation during sex obviously, it’s about sharing your appreciation for them in a short and simple way.
You would be surprised how something as simple as, “You’re so sexy,” or “I love when you touch me there like that,” can really boost one’s ego during the deed and get them turned on even more. These subtle words can really ignite the passion between you two, and lead to an explosive and happily ever ending for everyone.
Say “I love you” when they least expect it
We often say those three important words without a second thought sometimes. They come out easily after a while, and the passion behind them seems to fade the longer two people are together.
I have found saying, I love you, during the most unexpected times can be when it means the most to your significant other. This can be while doing the dishes, hanging out and watching TV or when you’re outside playing with the kids. This when their guard is down the most, so when you open up and say those three magical words, they will come to appreciate and truly feel the power behind them.
“I love you,” no longer becomes just another sentence uttered before bed or saying goodbye, it once again becomes the symbol of your feelings towards your partner that you so long ago couldn’t wait to hear them say.
I hope these tips prove helpful as you look for new ways to navigate your newfound relationship in this modern age of parenting. As a final bit of advice, be sure to appreciate what the other does for you, and not look for the things that they don’t do. Life will be easier and you will find a little appreciation really goes a long way.