We’ve all seen pictures of women decked out in leather and high heels using whips, chains and other accessories that come in handy when taming a submissive. These are sexy images that are alluring and empowering enough to inspire almost every woman to occasionally slip into something…um…less comfortable and take control.
But being a femdom woman is about more than just dressing up to play a role. It’s about being able to dominate a submissive with confidence to make for an experience both partners will enjoy.
With that in mind here are 31 femdom ideas that will help you dominate your man completely.
- Foot Worship: Foot worship is a popular fetish that is often incorporated into BDSM femdom. It can be done while wearing shoes or not.
If your men has a high heels fetish, he can suck on the heel of your shoe, lick around its edges and even smell its inside. If it is your foot he wants, you can tease him by denying or granting him the pleasure of sucking on your toes or licking the heel of your foot.
You can also dominate your man by walking on him in your heels or using them in other ways to inflict pain. (Note, safety words should always be used. Remember, it’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye.)
- Cock and Ball Bondage: This type of femdom bondage may seem extreme, but it doesn’t have to be. You can start out with a stretchy cock ring to see how your man reacts before moving on to glass, metal and other hardcore devices.
Another idea is to put his genitals in a cage to keep him from getting fully erect. This can be a form of punishment if your sub is being bad.
- Sissy Play: Sissy play is one of the most fun femdom games out there. It involves your man putting on frilly undergarments.
Some men love this and some hate it, but either way, it is a great way to make him feel submissive and exert control.
- Oral: Oral sex can be easily used as a weapon by a female dom. She can demand to be given oral sex or she can tease her partner with oral sex, stimulating him but stopping just before he achieves orgasm.
- Those that are undergoing femdom training can experiment by trying a session over the phone. It may be harder to exert control this way, but it can also open your mind to come up with creative ideas that can be used in person when the opportunity presents itself.
- Anal play and Butt Plugging: Your man might find anal play and butt plugging stimulating or he may find it humiliating. Either way, you can use it in femdom sessions to dominate.
A butt plug will also make a man ready for anal penetration which is another great way to exert control.
- Cock and Ball Torture: Taking cock and ball bondage to the next level, this type of torture can include pinching, stretching, piercing, stepping on and generally abusing your man’s genitals. If he is aroused, he will be even more receptive to feelings of pain.
Hot wax can also be used but consider using a type of wax that melts at lower temperatures to prevent burns. Massage candle wax is recommended.
- Bathroom Control: You may not have had to ask to go to the bathroom since you were a child and doing so as an adult can be quite humiliating…which is just what the female dom wants.
However, if you are using bathroom control in your dom sessions, it’s important to realize that holding in waste for too long can lead to health issues and letting your session go too far can make for unpleasant results.
- Spitting: If you are wondering how to be a femdom, spitting is another way to humiliate a sub. It can also make a mess and is best done in a bathroom or outdoor space.
- Impact Play: If you are thinking of how to femdom, impact play tops the list. Impact play is a sexual practice in which one person is struck by another for sexual gratification. This can be done with a cane, a flogger, a paddle…or you can even spank your sub using your hand!
- Bondage: If you are looking to exert control over your man, tying him up will be the best way. Once tied up, he will be completely vulnerable to whatever you choose to do to him.
You can use ropes or handcuffs to tie him to a bed or chair. A gag or blindfold can be used to prevent him from seeing or talking and clamps and other devices can be used to administer pain.
- Manners: Every sub needs to be taught manners. If he does not follow your femdom instructions and say please and thank you before and after every act that is being performed, he probably needs a whipping!
- Service: A female dom works hard and she deserves to be taken care of. If your man isn’t giving you the TLC you need, you might have to force him to do so. Demand that he bring you food, shave your body, give you a massage or whatever else suits your fancy!
- Humiliation: There are many ways you can humiliate a man to put him in his place. You can make fun of his penis size, force him to go outside dressed up in women’s clothing, dance, wear makeup and even clean up his own cum after he orgasms.
- Degradation: One step beyond humiliation, degradation is the act of insulting your sub and calling him names to further put him in his submissive state.
- Teasing: Teasing is a great way to give your sub just a taste of pleasure without any real satisfaction. You can entice him by showing off body parts, touching him in a certain way or talking dirty to him. Then, just before you come through on any promises, psych him out by reneging on your promises.
- Orgasm Control: Denying your man an orgasm is the ultimate way to exert control. Pleasure him but stop just before he reaches climax. You can also make him do things so he will earn his climax.Once he is finally able to climax, it will be more explosive than ever.
- DIY Bondage: BDSM can be a lot of fun, but it can also get quite expensive. All the props…the vinyl and leather. Fortunately, there are plenty of props available that can be found in the comfort of your own home. Spoons, spatulas and rulers can all make for great spankings. Muscle creams and hot sauce can be used to produce a burning sensation on sensitive skin.
- Role Play: Role play is another turn on that many couples enjoy, and it can also work well in femdom activities. Women can take on the role of a teacher punishing a naughty student, a boss disciplining an underling or a policewoman arresting a bad guy.
- Pet Play: You can also dominate your sub by making him act as if he is your pet. You can ride around on his back, make him lick your shoe, sit, beg and more. Using a pet tail butt plug can take this fantasy to the next level.
- Punishment: Spanking is a great way to punish your sub, but after a while it can get a bit predictable. If you want to change things up a bit, try other ways to punish him like forcing him to take a cold shower, kneel on a pencil, stand on his toes or have him engage in any number of tedious activities to get him to obey.
- Dress the part: BDSM is more about the actions than anything but dressing the part can help you feel more dominating and in control. If you want you and your partner to truly get into it, you will wear typical femdom wear. Black lingerie is recommended and if you can make it leather or vinyl, that’s even better. High heels almost go without saying!
- Sensual Domination: If you love the idea of being a femdom, but are not big on the pain and humiliation, sensual domination can be a great alternative.
Sensual domination involves the woman petting her dom and telling her how good he is, much as she would a pet or a child. It is a great way to experiment with power exchange while minimizing pain and other aspects of BDSM which can be threatening and scary.
- Abduction: This is another fetish that may not be for everyone but for some it is truly an obsession. It involves acting out a kidnapping. After the kidnapping occurs, the kidnapper is free to take full advantage of their victim…in every way possible.
- Asphyxiation: Not only can choking be a sexy way of dominating your man, it also restricts blood flow to the upper part of the body making orgasms more intense. For some, it can be scary, but others may enjoy the elevated sexual experience it can provide. If you choose to dominate your man by choking him, be sure to have some safe words in place.
- Clothed Sex: Clothed sex can be performed if one or both partners keep on their clothing during sex allowing the other access only to the parts that matter. If a woman remains clothed and the man is naked, this can put the woman in a position of power that is perfect for exerting control over her sub.
- Consensual Nonconsent: This type of BDSM sex occurs when the partners consent to sexual activity that would otherwise be nonconsensual. For instance, if the parties act out a rape scene, one may act as if they do not want to engage in the activity, but the fact is, this is a completely consensual act that was agreed to it in advance and is a turn on for them both. Having a woman play a dominant role in consensual nonconsent makes for an unexpected element that can increase arousal.
- Cupping: This act is often used in massage to provide a relaxing sensation. It involves small cups that are put on the body upside down. A hand pump is used to create a suction that can produce bruising or a tight feeling. Extreme cupping can break the skin, but the practice is safe for the most part.
- Face Sitting: Face sitting is an incredibly dominant act that involves a woman sitting on a man’s face while he performs oral sex. Sometimes suffocation is involved.
Hopefully this article has provided you with valuable information on how to be a female dom. There are many ways you can take control of your sub, so experiment and get creative to find the method that works best for you. We wish you the best of luck in exploring your dark side!